As a Los Angeles Jewish Attorney, that has been married, and divorced, and who has advised Family Law Clients getting divorced, I’d like to emphasize that Weddings are much more enjoyable than Divorces, and we should all remember that. Really.
“War of the Roses.” I can never forget that old (1989) movie, “War of the Roses,” starring Kathleen Turner, as the very unhappy Mrs. Barbara Rose; Michael Douglas as the equally unhappy Mr. Oliver Rose, and Danny DeVito as the Divorce Attorney that tells the very tragic story of the War of the Roses (Mr. and Mrs., that is) to an equally unhappy married man, contemplating hiring Attorney Danny DeVito, to file his Divorce.
After Seventeen (17) years of marriage, Barbara Rose and Oliver Rose both “want out” of the marriage. The trouble is, neither one wants to part with their very expensive, “to die for” home. So, the unhappy couple begin a long and horrific war between husband and wife, which can (sometimes) be quite entertaining (unless, of course it is happening to YOU!)
As the movie (and the story) unfolds, the Rose children (Sean Astin and Heather Fairfield) watch in horror while lawyer Gavin D’Amato (Danny DeVito) tries his best to keep the divorce process civilized and safe, but to no avail.
Rent the Movie – But on Valentine’s Day, or Not. But to understand fully, you’ll have to rent the movie … just don’t rent it on Valentine’s Day … or, on second thought, maybe you should rent it on Valentine’s Day, as a bit of a warning to both you and your boyfriend or girlfriend.
At the end of the movie, Danny DeVito says to his new potential client, “OK, so why don’t you just go home now, take your wife out to dinner, enjoy her company, and then go home … if you want, she can stay on one floor most of the time, and you can stay on another floor … you don’t really have to get along, just make the best of it … and you’ll be surprised how good it will feel to have made the ‘right’ decision!”
Stock Market or Divorce Court – You Can Lose a Fortune in Either, or Both. Now as for me, after twenty-plus years of marriage, several wonderful kids, a big house, and lots of positives, my “Ex” and I lost a fortune in the stock market crash of 2000 – 2001 – 2002, and then things spiraled downward. No drugs, no alcohol, no physical abuse, and no one had an affair … we just couldn’t stop arguing.
There ensued more than four (4) years of divorce litigation, with at least $200,000 in attorneys’ fees between the two of us, including an attorney for our kids … yes, they are called “Minors’ Counsel” … between “Ex” and I, we lost the house, lost a fortune, ruined each of our lives, and – perhaps – “scarred” the children for life.
The Problem with TRO’s. Many times, one or the other of the married couple will march into Court, and demand a Temporary Restraining Order (“TRO”) against the other spouse. But the problem with TRO’s is that – whether justified or not – they are almost ALWAYS GRANTED in a Family Law setting.
In a non-Family Law setting, such as a serious business dispute between business partners, TRO’s are almost never granted. For either one of two ex-business partners to get a TRO, they will have to prove to the Court that the other brandished a firearm, while threatening them, face-to-face. If the one seeking the TRO did not have a gun, it almost does not matter how serious his threats were.
But in a Family Law setting, as was explained to me by a Family Court Judge, it all goes back to the OJ Simpson murder case. Nicole Brown Simpson feared OJ Simpson after they separated, and got a TRO. She was obviously right to seek the TRO, because she ended up getting murdered by OJ. The fact that the TRO didn’t prevent the crime is irrelevant. But the theory is, as told by the Family Court Judge, if two married people are arguing or fighting, and one seeks the TRO, then the Family Court is obligated to separate the two, one way or another, so that there is no violence in the future, and one does not kill the other.
But because TRO’s are so easily granted, it gives a tremendous advantage to the first person to seek one. This tends to quickly escalate and accelerate the divorce battles and the overall divorce process. When you ask for something in Family Court, be prepared to get your request granted, and be aware that you may soon regret it. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
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